My dearest Mac,
It’s been a week now since I’ve heard the click of your nails on the kitchen floor, or felt your wet nose at my elbow as I’ve sat at my desk. A week since the last time I rubbed your velvet-soft ears and told you what a good boy you were. I’ve had a week to get used to the idea that your quiet, gentle presence is truly gone from this house, but I still find myself looking for you in your favourite sleeping places. It’s felt empty here without you.
It was amazing watching you shake off a little more of the abuse from your past every day you were with us, and learning to love and trust us. You were part of this family for such a short time, but your big heart and endearing personality made it seem like we’d been together all along. You became my faithful companion through some of the most difficult years of my life. I hope it gave you comfort that I was there with you at the most difficult moment of yours.
Now that your ashes are home I feel a little less raw, but any time I’ve tried to talk to you like I used to it’s only reminded me that I’ll never again see you tilt your head trying to pick out words you know. I think we’ll keep some of your ashes so that part of you will always be with us; the rest we’ll spread at some of your favourite walking places so that you can take in the sights and smells you always loved.
I hope you know how much you meant to us, and how much you’re missed. Farewell, old friend.
If I had known that on that day our time was near the end
I would have done things differently, my forever friend.
I would have stayed right next to you deep into the night
but I thought I’d see you in the early morning light.
And so I said “Good night” to you as I walked in through the door
never thinking of the time when I’d see you no more.
But if I had known that on that day our time was at the end
I would have done things so differently, my forever friend.
– Sally Evans (written for Shoo-Fly)